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The Long Goodbye: Leaving the Netherlands (But Not Its Identity)

It’s funny how you can live in a place your whole life—or, well, a big part of your life—and not fully appreciate it until you’re getting ready to leave. To be honest, I’ve never been much of a tourist in my own country, even though I’ve visited so many places outside this little land.

But here I find myself now, on the verge of saying goodbye to the Netherlands, the country I’ve called home for so long. Yet, even as I prepare to trade the Dutch lowlands for the Portuguese highlands, I’m realising that there are some things about the Netherlands I’ll carry with me, no matter where I go.

Saying goodbye isn’t simple

Leaving a country is never as simple as booking a one-way ticket and waving goodbye. There’s a process to it, and not just the logistical kind involving paperwork, packing, and tying up loose ends. There’s also an emotional side to leaving. Over the last few months, as my move to Portugal became a reality, I’ve been hit with waves of nostalgia for everything that makes the Netherlands what it is.

It’s the little things that catch me off guard: walking through quiet streets on a crisp autumn morning, the familiar scent of fresh bread from the corner bakery, the sound of rain softly tapping against my windows (sometimes for days on end). I’ve even found myself getting a bit sentimental about those long, dark winters—something I never thought I’d miss.

And then there are the bigger things: the traditions, the culture, the identity. But more than anything, the people—my close friends and the comfort of familiarity. Some days, I’m overwhelmed by doubts, and the leap feels terrifying. It’s strange because I didn’t feel this way when I moved to Brazil, or London, or when I eventually returned to the Netherlands. Is it the many years that have passed? Or maybe it’s age and wisdom creeping in, reminding me that each decision carries a little more weight now.

But don’t get me wrong—I’m incredibly excited about diving into a new adventure and making Portugal my new home. It’s a place I feel deeply connected to, where stepping out of the airport gives me that comforting sense of “coming home.” I definitely have saudades de Portugal. Still, as with any life-changing decision, it’s important to reflect on everything—the past, the present, and the journey ahead.

What it means to be Dutch

Growing up in the Netherlands, certain things become second nature. Take the directness in conversations (some might call it bluntness, but I prefer to call it honesty). Over the years, living abroad has taught me to be more tactful in this area or to recognise that it’s not always appreciated in other cultures.

There’s also the obsession with punctuality (my father always taught me it’s better to be 15 minutes early than late), and of course, the Dutch love affair with fresh dairy products. These quirks are what make the Dutch, well, Dutch. And while I’ve often taken them for granted, I’m starting to see how much these traits have shaped who I am.

Take Dutch bike culture, for example. Even though I’ve never been a big cyclist, you can’t escape its influence. Rain, wind, snow—it doesn’t matter. People hop on their bikes and go. That resilience, that “just get on with it” attitude, is deeply ingrained in Dutch life, and it’s something I’ve always admired, even if from the sidelines.

And then there’s gezelligheid—that wonderfully untranslatable Dutch concept of cosiness, togetherness, and warmth. Whether it’s gathering with friends over a meal or sitting by a fire with a cup of tea, the Dutch have a knack for finding joy in the simple things. I know I’ll miss that, but it’s something I can recreate wherever I go. Gezelligheid isn’t tied to a place—it’s tied to people.

The emotional tug-of-war

As my departure draws closer (and yes, my to-do list is still endless), I’ve noticed a strange emotional tug-of-war. On one hand, I’m eager to embrace my new life in Portugal—the warm weather, the laid-back lifestyle, the fresh start. But on the other hand, there’s the weight of leaving behind not just a place, but an identity. And to be honest, it’s scary to leave behind the comfort of the known for a new adventure.

For better or worse, living in the Netherlands has shaped me in ways I’m only now beginning to understand. I’ve learned to appreciate the straightforwardness of Dutch communication, the importance of personal responsibility, and the balance of work and life. And even though I’ll be leaving this country, I know I’ll carry these values with me—whether I’m navigating the streets of Lisbon or settling into my new home.

Leaving, but not losing

The thought of leaving the Netherlands once made me feel like I was losing a part of myself. But the more I think about it, the more I realise that I’m not really leaving it behind. Yes, I’ll be living somewhere else, but I’ll always be Dutch in the ways that matter. My love for structure, my appreciation for good cheese, and my desire to make any space feel gezellig—these are things I can take with me. These are parts of my identity that won’t change, no matter where I end up.

Over the years, I’ve made many places my home, met the most amazing people, and formed friendships that have stood the test of time. And as much as I’ll miss the little things about the Netherlands, I know a new adventure awaits. This is my chance to chase a long-held dream, to embrace a new chapter that feels both exciting and daunting at the same time.

Portugal, too, has always resonated deeply with me—it feels like a second home, a place where I can grow and evolve. So, I’m not losing my connection to the Netherlands—I’m expanding it. I’ll be able to appreciate both the Dutch practicality and the Portuguese passion, the directness of my home country and the warmth of my new one.

Ok then…

Well, that’s my nostalgic self sharing the process of this adventure. Now, back to my to-do list. There’s still so much to arrange, but I’ll update you all soon!

com carinho,

Paulo

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